It’s Okay to Ask for Help

A few days ago I decided to attempt to squat 205lbs… 

How is this relevant to asking for help? 

Well, I had just squatted a personal best of 195 the day before, along with a lengthy set of deadlifts. My body (especially the lower end) was tired. I’d never broken 200lbs before. But I thought I was ready. 

I did one slow, slightly painful rep. I got back up from under 205 lbs! 😀 

Of course that wasn’t enough…

I stepped up to the bar ready for round two. Stared at myself in the mirror for a while, contemplated if the song I chose was the right song, stared some more… 

I was going to do this. 

‘Not so fast there, pal!’ my brain screeched…. Ok, maybe I’m not going to do this. 

I was offered a spot & hestitantly accepted the offer. Before I even started to squat this person noticed a form issue I had (I wasn’t squaring off my feet) & pointed it out… I fixed my form according to the advice I was given & got myself ready to start (again).

I got all the way parallel, started to come back up, & before I got 3/4 of the way- I panicked. I felt myself inching back down…the opposite of where I needed to go.. So. I called on the help that was there to support me. It was kind of awkward & I felt like I had failed. 

Those negative feelings quickly went away once I realized how hilarious it was that I panicked even though I knew someone was right there to catch me. I didn’t fail. I tried something new; I reached a new one-rep max & I let someone help me when I tried to take it further.

That’s the point of accepting other people’s help- none of us can do everything on our own. We need the support of others at certain moments in our life. Whether that support comes in the weight room, at work, in the grocery store, when a crisis hits; whether it comes from a close friend, or from a complete stranger…it’s never a bad thing to embrace!

There is always going to be someone to help you. You never have to panic about impending doom or failure.

Enjoy the journey my friends. & remember to let a little help in from time to time 🙂

P.S.- I wrote this post at night while trying to sleep & it relieved a significant amount of anxiety that had built up in my mind/body. Not sure why.. Maybe it has something to do with allowing all of you to help me release my thoughts?? 

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Resolution Alternative

The new year has never felt like a big deal to me.. 

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s exciting that we all made another trip around the sun. I also think it’s cool that we get to start our revolution all over again. & sure, I love writing the wrong year for a few months- it adds much needed confusion to my day.

But I don’t quite understand why it’s the time people decide their whole lives are going to change. We change everyday. We’re creatures of habit, but we’re also creatures of adaptation. If something isn’t working for us we generally have the power to do something about it. Maybe we can’t always change a situation completely, but we have more control than we give ourselves credit for. 

That’s why I decided to do something a little different this year. I’m writing down a few goals I want to achieve for each month of 2016. Getting all of my aspirations out of my head & onto paper will make them real- I’ll be more accountable. I set aside pages of a notebook where I’ve been writing out the things I hope to accomplish. Some I’ve already determined, others will come as I live & learn. Either way, I have a clear (sometimes not so clear) vision of where I want to go.  

I think direction is important regardless of the where we are in the year- beginning, middle, end, somewhere in an alternative concept of time, wherever. This direction can be especially helpful when there’s a feeling of ‘starting fresh’ or a ‘new beginning’…such as a new year. Write down your goals. If writing isn’t your thing, make a vision board of your goals for the year. Maybe even make a board for each month…sort of like a calendar of goals. WOW THAT IS A REALLY GOOD IDEA!! I think I’m going to take my own advice on this one… I’m going to make a Calendar of Goals 2016. I’ll keep you posted on how that’s going. 

In the meantime, & in between time, stay blessed fam. Keep a vision of yourself succeeding & accomplishing great things dancing in your head. Put that vision on some paper. Start doing- I believe in you 🙂

Happy New Year!!

~peace & all good~

Runnin Thru the Gram With My Woes

*You know how that shit goes*

Social media… I use it, like we all do, but it doesn’t really add much to my life. Instagram, however, seems to be the source of all evil (I know that’s harsh, it’s for added drama). 

How many times a day do I scroll through my feed of pictures & think: 

  • ugh, why am I not making progress like that? MUSCLES WHERE R U ???!1!11?
  • I wish I had cute gym clothes 😦
  • LOL he/she looks like a human after working out, pretty sure I usually look like a cave troll
  • man I’m hungry…that looks delicious
  • haha my abs will never exist 
  • y do I work a full time job? I should just get paid to workout all day..
  • wow y am I poor I need more supplements !?!!11! 😦 😦
  • Y AM I SO UGLY UGH PLZ HELP BASED GOD

…. Many a time. It’s a bad habit I’ve developed recently that I’m trying to get rid of.  Why do I care what someone else wears while working out? I’m sure my next meal will also be delicious. I’m making progress, just in my own way!

There’s been a lot of talk about how social media is bad for self confidence/living successfully in reality. Internet stars are coming out & giving the truth behind Internet fame; the rotten things people say, the work that goes into maintaining their image, the way it provides a false picture of what life really is. All of this is relevant. It’s also relevant to think about how much time out of our day we take to compare ourselves to people on a damn screen. & the fact that kids are growing up with these ideas about health & what ‘fit’ looks like, but no one understands the toll it can truly take.. 

If someone feels badly about themselves, their feelings are valid. If someone feels inadequate because they just spent 2 hrs scrolling through pics of people with professional makeup/clothes/photo crews (who don’t mention these professionals in their posts), their feelings are valid. If someone is sick of comparing themselves to others & boycotts social media, you guessed it- VALID FEELINGS. Being bombarded with images of perfection creates a lot of confusion in our brains.. 

Maybe you don’t even exercise, but you follow fitness accounts anyway in hopes you’ll become motivated to start exercising. In reality, the posts from these accounts probably just make you sad because you just don’t want to exercise. It’s okay if you don’t like to workout! Stop trying to convince yourself that you do via social media envy. You’re choosing to reinforce an image of what you wish you were- instead of being happy with the person you actually are.

We all have some level of demons/negative self-talk that happens regardless of these Gram woes.  But it’s important to pay attention to how these images influence the way you think about yourself. When I see a fitness model who looks flawless after a workout I sort of resent the fact that I will never look that good in the gym….ever….because I don’t have a group of people whose job is to make me look great….

Not in a million years will I have a so-called “perfect” body. 

I might never eat clean for a consistent period of time. 

I don’t think I see myself working out in a sports bra anytime soon (never happening). 

I will always eat carbs.

If I ever have abs it will be a miracle. 

I know all of these things, & I’m completely content with that knowledge 98.9% of the time. But that 1.1% feels a lot bigger when I’m looking through Instagram…shiit

So the moral of the story: Remind yourself of what reality is like. Go out & realize that the average person isn’t perfect- even if they appear to be. Most people have rolls when they sit…even if they workout regularly. I can speak for myself & say that I do not look attractive when I work out, nor do all of my gym outfits match/smell pleasant.. 

It’s all good! Our flaws make us who we are!! Everyone has things they want to work on, but that’s why we’re all human.

Here’s a guided meditation for shutting down negative energy. Embrace the funk 🙂

~peace & all good~

Why Am I Here? Pt. II

I guess you could say I’ve gotten scatter-brained with my posts.. I kind of lost track of what the purpose of this blog even is. I feel like my posts go from here to there and have not so much connection to each other.. & guys, tbh…this is a literal representation of my current life situation. 

In the past few weeks my workouts were bleh, I was putting minimal effort into what I was eating, & just really struggling to get into the groove of my new routine. I was feeling like I didn’t even want to lift anymore (scared myself a little with that one), I didn’t care if I never ate healthy again. Obviously that didn’t last long because eating like crap means you feel like crap. I realised I needed to check in with myself mentally & physically….I looked at my goals & basically made the move to add more variety to everything & plan better. Personally, planning is crucial because not having set daily activities gives me ~anxieTy~. That’s not to say I didn’t need that time of scattered-ness – I have no regrets at all. {yoloswag}

BUTT this is me just checking in to reassure you all that I’ve refocused & am back on a purposeful path. I know what my goal is: to make fitness & healthy eating accessible to anyone reading this (with the ocassional random post because I just can’t help myself). I know how I want to accomplish it, & I’m okay if I only help one person work toward a healthier, happier life!

Now that I’m thinking about it.. Things like this actually are in line with the reason I started this blog.. It’s definitive proof that I am a normal human being who gets lost & confused at times. It brings me back to my original questions: who am I & why am I here? I think I’m closer to the answer now… 

Even with a goal in mind I can get off-track. But that’s life. Nobody is perfect! So, if you’re with me now or were with me when I had no clue what the heck I was doing writing this blog- welcome!! & congratulations on also being human! 🙂

Missing on a Rainy Day

Its dark & rainy here in New York today.. 

As I’m sitting in my office there’s a sense of longing nagging at me. There’s a lot of things this weather makes me want. Most of them I can’t have just because of the way my current situation is set up (AKA real life). I guess I’m an adult now….. 

However.

I would love to be in my bed,

I would love to be cuddled in blankets with my cats,

I would love to just stay in my underwear all day & lay down for hours,

I want to skip this whole thing where I do actual work,

I miss my friends,

I wish I could spend the day watching movies & drinking wine,

I wish I at least had a big comfy couch in my office that I could lounge on while I do my work,

I wish I didn’t have responsibilities right now,

I almost wish I were back in school… where I had the freedom to skip class with little to no consequence. 

I wish my boss could cancel work as easily as professors can cancel class.

S I G H

Pursuing what you want to do isn’t always easy! Rainy days are a good reminder of that. They’re a good reminder of all of the things you should appreciate & enjoy when you can do them. They let you know that you need time to unwind & de-hype. 

Take the time to be lazy. 

Take the time to spend a day just laying in bed or on the couch or wherever. 

Take the time to sit around with your friends/loved ones & just enjoy eachothers presence.

Take the time to watch a ridiculous amount of TV or read a book or just space out.

Take the time to do whatever it is you long to do when it’s raining. 

~peace & all good~

My First Day in the Adult World

So, today I started my first ever full-time job. It’s about damn time! Granted- I’m only 22 & graduated college a little over 100 days ago.. 

This day has brought a lot of things to my attention. 

First, how to dress like a professional human being without being sucked into the dullness of typical business attire.. 

  

   ~very fashion, so class~
I went with black ankle-length pants from Target, a patterned top from H&M, a black fitted blazer from Target, & nude ballet flats…again from Target. (Clearly I’m ballin on a budget here.) 

People who know me well are probably reading this & laughing because none of the clothes I mentioned are suitable for the gym…..which means I probably haven’t worn them in a few months………. Whatever. I don’t like to wear real clothes ok! 

Anyways. The feels..

The feels were so real today. I’ve had several jobs in my days, but none that included important things like a salary, or the words “nine to five”. TBH I never pictured myself as a 9to5-er, but life surprises us. 

Last night I was pretty nervous because (even though I got a detailed email of what to expect) I had no idea what to expect. Would I have time to eat lunch? What if I had to poop? How would I stay alert for 8 hours when I was going in to my other job at 5am? How will I maintain my gym routine with a full time job? Will my coworkers like me? Is my alarm actually set for AM, not PM? Will my mind ever STFU?! *Find out on the next episode of OrdinarilyFit!!* 

Basically I feel like I’m entering a whole new universe. I feel like an alien (maybe I am an alien, idk). 

& the amount of information my brain attempted to process today is ludicrous. Not the rapper because that’d be somewhat enjoyable & wouldn’t feel like my soul was being sucked out of me. (Exhaustion makes me a little dramatic..) Health insurance is confusing, remembering 24 names of strange faces is hard, being in a new place is awkward. *sigh*

BUTT I also feel pride & excitement. Something (or a lot of things) I did got me to this day. I’ve accomplished one of the first steps of creating an independent life for myself. I truly am grateful for this opportunity. I’m excited to continue learning & expand my impact on my small corner of the world. 🙂

I’m working in a field I’m passionate about, that also coincides with what I studied in college…srsly did not expect that to happen. My co-workers are all super welcoming & friendly. There’s even a Dunkin Donuts right across the street (which I’ve already gone too)! Really, I have nothing to complain about.

So here I am. At the end of a very very long day, feeling relieved that I got through it & thankful that I get to do it again tomorrow. 

Until next time.. 

~peace & all good~